Can You Overcome Your “Friction” by Simply Giving Yourself Grace?

Credit: LaurasRusticCreation

I just found Mel Robbins on Instagram. I realize I'm a little late to the party, Mel has something like 3 million followers and apparently the number one podcast on Spotify!

This morning I listened to Mel’s episode about friction, trying to identify that friction that we have in our lives that's keeping us from doing something significant and scary. 

It took me a while to identify my friction.

Of course, lots of things came to mind, but many were fairly trivial, mostly daily issues that I can usually work through and around.

But, after a while, it came to me…

My number one friction, my daily theme…is guilt.

Am I Enough?

Guilt that I'm not giving enough to my kids, to my house, to my mother, to my husband, and to my work.

And, once I identified guilt as my source of friction, the daily examples just started flowing like a river!

I carry this guilt with me everywhere and into everything!

It lives in the back of my head and curls up in my knotted shoulders, like a small voice that is always questioning if I am doing enough, could I be doing more, should I be doing more?

And if I choose not to do more, what does that say about me? 

Obviously, this guilt is doing me as much good as a sharp stick in my eye. It’s useless!

Yet, I can’t shake it. 

I started Parent-Led Revolution about two years ago.

First, as a passion project during the Covid shutdowns, and then it quickly became a piece of my next professional endeavor as Happy Ladders took shape. 

My husband and I quickly found ourselves with an opportunity to blend his software experience with my autism therapy expertise.

But it’s been a big undertaking, much more challenging than we originally thought, and has come with a significant degree of financial risk. We had, and still have, a lot to lose. 

Moving through that fear has been something  I've learned to do daily for about a year and a half. I'm actually getting pretty good at it. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it is helpful. However, more than ever, that little voice living in the back of my head is not so little anymore. 

But I just realized this morning, while listening to Mel Robbins, the irony of all of this — I am not taking my own advice!

We Don’t Have to Be Supermom

Through Parent-Led Revolution and Happy Ladders, I aim to teach parents they don't have to be Superman or Supermom.

They can impact their child's life in small ways that eventually add up to big ways that can have major impacts.

In order to do something amazing, it doesn't have to be that thing you live and breathe and do from dusk till dawn, ignoring all other aspects of life.

My message is to be systematic, to know where to start and where to go. Also, how to measure success. I encourage parents to pace themselves and set realistic goals. 

Yet, I still struggle to let myself accept those same rules…

So here I am, wondering why am I not listening to my own advice?

I can make big impacts through baby steps as long as I'm careful about where I start and where I go, right? And I can ensure my time is intentional and focused without it being painful, yes?

So why is it so hard, when we know these things, to believe them?

Why can't we just be happy knowing that we are enough and that we are doing great things and all is good? 

I think I just answered my own question—and I think I just released my own friction. 

Amy, take your own damn advice! You got this. Keep moving, keep going, and you'll get there. 

Give Yourself Grace

Just like for my Parent-Led and Happy Ladders parents. I want you to know the same, that in order to do something amazing, it doesn't have to be that thing you live and breathe and do from dusk till dawn, ignoring all other aspects of life.

That would not be healthy for you — or your child. It’s true; quality trumps quantity. It's 100% OK to work smarter, not harder.

Give yourself that grace.

And if that guilty voice is your friction, tell it to take a hike!